Finding Happiness Within

Published: 06th June 2012
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There are times when we can't explain it, but somehow, despite all our efforts to be happy, we still feel empty. People around us always seem happier, more positive, more appreciative of life. How do they do it?

Too often, we try to find happiness and enjoyment from other people, from material possessions, from temporary events…not realizing that in order to be really happy, we must first try to find happiness within. Most often, we search for happiness in the wrong places, not realizing that all the happiness we need is really within ourselves.

If you have a great job, a good and more than sufficient income, a lovely family, a supportive and loving partner, yet still feel that something is missing, then it's time you analyse your life, and try to find out why nothing seems sufficient.

To start on your journey towards finding happiness within, there are some things you need to realize. These things will help you decide on your own if your life is truly as unhappy as you think it is.

Not everything is about you. Your car broke down, and you think someone is deliberately trying to make things difficult for you. Your son had one failing grade, and you think he did it on purpose to get your attention. Your mother fell down the stairs, and you think she just wants to get part of your transferable medical benefits. Your boss reprimanded you for doing poorly at work, and you blame your staff. DUH. Reality check: Not everything is about you. When we make things all about us and we don't check out our ego at the door, we tend to blame the world for everything unfortunate that happens, and think that no one has any concern for our feelings and needs. We expect everyone to put our own interests first and only then can they think of their own. How is that even logical? Doing something similar is the pure definition of self-absorption and selfishness. If you feel the world owes you for turning despite the fact that you feel that your own world is crumbling then something must really be wrong.

Remember that you are the master of your own destiny. Your life will only be as happy as you allow it to be. Several things around you may go wrong - you can choose to crawl into a corner, sulk and wait until things go better, or you can alter your perception about even the worst of situations. This is the very first step towards your journey towards true happiness.

Money, wealth and material things do not give true happiness. No matter how elated you feel after purchasing those $1000 pair of designer shoes, you will notice that the "happy" feeling disappears a short time later. Why, because material things do not really give true and lasting satisfaction. Material things and money may come and go, but happiness is something you work at - you cannot buy it from a store with a wad of cash. Sure, you can go on luxurious trips around the world, or treat your so-called friends to continuous night of merry-making, but are you sure these friends are real friends who will still stick with you when the bank accounts dwindle?

The bottom line is: You cannot buy happiness. No loads of money or purchase of exorbitantly-priced bags, cars and mansions will ever compensate for the happiness you will find with people who will be by your side when things are not so great. Instead, try to find true friendships - remember, the true ones will go through the entrance when everyone superficial decides to make a mad scramble for the exit. But another thing to remember - you must first love yourself before you can appreciate friends, family and other people around you.

Accept that not everything will go exactly the way you want. If you made plans for your future but things are not going exactly as you planned it, fret not - these are facts of life. No matter how much you try to control everything, not everything will be to your liking. The sooner you accept the fact that things that can go wrong will go wrong, then the sooner you can make new and better plans that will adapt to the changes you did not expect. Hey, your world will not crumble when things do not go your way. The better option is to view each change as a challenge, and take each one with a grain of salt. Change is exciting, after all.

Be thankful for the things you have. If you slept on a nice warm bed last night, or had a good satisfying meal, or lived to see another day - be thankful. Think of all the people who had nowhere to sleep, or no food to eat. Realize how lucky you are compared to others. These alone should make anybody happy. You were most probably born with the gift of sight, of hearing, the ability to walk or run, or a talent for writing, singing or dancing - these are all gifts which you should be happy for. Use them to make your life happier, and better - use them to make other people happier also. The secret to true happiness lies within you. They are not found in other people, they are not dependent on parties and fleeting events.

Happiness is borne of the heart - not of the mind. Sometimes, we have pre-conceived notions in our mind of what true happiness is. Yes we were given brains, but happiness is not felt in the brain, it's felt in the heart. It's that warm fuzzy feeling when you know you have friends, when you sleep well at night, when you giggle at every small gaze of your loved one. Happiness is not just peace of mind - it's peace of the heart.

The sooner we begin using our hearts in deciding which things make us happy, the sooner we will realize that the concepts we have in our mind of the barometers for happiness could get us off-track. Let your heart do the thinking, if ever you feel no happiness for the things around you that are happening. You will find it truly enlightening.


Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit

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